How much has this cost me so far?

All this being incapacitated has taken its toll on our savings, not to mention my health. So that I could continue working, for example, we had to change the car for an automatic, and that's a £14,000 loan for starters. Before then, we changed the double and the single bed. Now we had to change the double bed, it was over 10 years old, and I decided that, as I needed to move into the spare room after I'd come out of hospital, I'd replace the single bed. It had been bought for Dad to return home to during his terminal illness, but he never used it so I had it since 2004 as our spare bed. I think it had been slept in about a dozen times, but it was an orthopaedic one and sooooo hard. So two beds cost us about £1100 (I don't have the exact amount here). On the day I came home from hospital, Steve informed me the oven had stopped working while I was away, and as it was 20 years old I decided we'd get another one rather than get it fixed. Its replacement cost about £500 in round figures.

Now we get to the clothing. I needed to replace my "normal" bras with front-fastening ones last year, call that about £100 as bras in my size don't come cheap! Then I had to shell out on batwing jumpers and poncho style clothes for work, as I couldn't actually get my arm through sleeves this summer. Even getting everything from Ebay, I'd say that must have been £100.

And don't mention the loss of income for me and the Centre. I think because I haven't been able to contribute what was in my cash flow forecast with treatments and training, since the summer the Centre has lost at least £2000, which is having to come out of my personal resources if I want to keep it going - which I do, if only to fulfil the commitments I've taken on there. If I don't get back to work after Christmas, it will continue to lose about £500 a month.

The only bright spark on the horizon is that all this incapacity has meant I am eligible for PIP, which finally kicked in this month, and I get about £300 a month. No prizes for guessing where that is going!

So don't let anyone tell you that incapacity is easily managed. Yes it is, but only if you have a goodly amount in the bank. I did a crowdfunder to try and raise money for my convalescence, as you can see. I did raise some money and for that I will be eternally grateful, but that paid for the new clothing and will run out this month. I haven't spent it on what I wanted to, which was a week in a convalescence home (quoted at £1100 in the end as it fell in the school holiday), nor have I used it to fund treatments to speed my recovery (quoted at £450): it is going to fill the hole in the receipts at the Amethyst Centre I'm afraid. I do have an understanding landlord but I have to pay him £1100 this month, which is coming from... a bank loan.

So it's all very frightening if, like me, you don't like to go into debt. But sometimes you have to, and this is one of them.