One step forwards, one or two steps back?

So over the past couple of weeks I've had to slow down the pace of my recovery a bit.

I was catching the bus to get to hospital for physio and to call in at work the other week, and on my way from work walking down hill to the 86 bus stop. I could feel a weakness in my legs, muscles shaking and inability to put one foot too far in front of the other. This couldn't be right could it? After all, I'd been doing short walks (0.2 or 0.3 miles, to the bus stop and back, or to the shop and back, every other day) for a couple of weeks and surely I should start seeing an improvement in my physical condition by now.

Another thing that happened that I wasn't expecting was the return of the severe headaches that I'd had in 2006, when it had been diagnosed as an issue with the placement of the scapula on my right shoulder: 6 months of intensive physio and taping seemed to have cured these, but here they were again. I wondered if it was because the physio exercises were done on one side only.

I had a day when I had a physio appointment at lunchtime and then the two-month post-op meeting with Mr Modi in the afternoon. I mentioned to Jenny the physio both the above conditions, and she suggested that the op had provoked a flareup of my rheumatoid arthritis. I hadn't even considered this possibility! So I have an appointment with my GP next week to see what he thinks. The headaches, she agreed with me about the exercises and so we've adapted them. Some of the ones I do lying down I now do with both arms, and the major stretches I do with both arms too. Let's see how that works.

She came to the consultant appointment too. I had an X-ray of the shoulder taken, and Mr Modi is really pleased with the progress and his handiwork, he showed me what it looked like and answered my questions about where the screws were screwed into. As it was 8 weeks post-op, I asked him if it was OK for me to drive and he agreed, especially as I have an automatic car, but to keep it local just now. So I guess that means no driving across the country visiting relatives for me!

I now have a plan for a phased return to work too.

Now until 14th January: 2 half-days a week.
14/1 - 8/4: 4 or 5 half-days a week.
8/4: 6-month signoff meeting with Mr Modi
After Easter: back to work full-time.

I had planned for a full-time return from the 14th January, so this is a bit of a blow for me I'm afraid. However, at least I can go back and do things. I can do therapies as long as I don't do massage: no cleaning or heavy lifting (yeh, right...), and keep up with the exercises.

I did do all day (9 - 3) on Saturday on my own, teaching the Violet Flame initiation in the morning and manning reception in the afternoon, then I cleaned up and mopped the floors.

Big mistake.

I am still not quite recovered from that! So, so tired when I got home. So much pain - out with the Zapain and I've had 3 doses since then, including one double dose (which is allowed if needed). And the headache returned last night so I had to take some ibuprofen as well.

Oh well, I guess it's all a learning curve isn't it. I am so frustrated, particularly as about the only thing I've been able to do is be a keyboard warrior! I did try and put the hoover over in the week as well, which was a similarly painful experience. But if I don't do it, it doesn't get done, and with 3 long-haired cats, it has to be done.

I'm still here.

May 13th came and went, and I'm still here.

Still in pain, now with the additional complications that my muscles feel weak when I walk, my right hip hurts, and my neck and both shoulders both hurt too. Shopping this week was a night mare.

The Tens machine does work but not for long enouch. The Fenbid gel also works after a fashion, as I can't quite reach where it needs to go!

As I need to have a reasonably clear head, I can't take the full dose of 2 x 30/500 Zapain. I take 1 every so often, roughly every 3 hours at night as I think that's going to amount to much the same, and if I stop and take 2 x 500 paracetamol at about 3am then the hangover process has started so I have a roughly clear head by 9am.

I've started taking the Naproxen every morning again to see if it works. No improvement so far but I think it needs to build up, as does the Organic Beauty Oil from NYRO which I stopped taking in March on the advice of the pre-op nurse. Now I know that it actually works, I'm going back on it!

I found a very good pain scale this morning, which is 0 - 12. On that scale I'm operating at 7 - 9 most days, with the pain being enough to distract me from concentrating and stopping me doing things (like putting the gear lever into reverse).

I'm completely running out of ideas now. The only thing keeping me going is the thought that one day this will be over. Sorry to be so negative.

My crowdfunder is here. I'm considering using it to pay for taxis to get us everywhere as I'm finding driving so very painful.
https://gogetfunding.com/please-fund-my-convalescence/

Is this the new normal?

So today I am not a happy bunny.

I should have been at a school event, helping the next generation with their job search and employability skills. Instead I am at home, not too far from the bathroom, and with a foggy head.

Last night I went to bed early because I had this event to get to, which would mean an early start to get there for 8pm. I did everything right pain wise or so I thought.

However, about 2am (might have been 3...) I needed to go to the loo and take my thyroxine tablet and more painkillers. So that's what I did, I took some co-codamol because I knew I had to be sharp witted early and a Zapain wouldn't do that. And that all bounced I'm afraid. Straight back. So another thyroxine tablet and a Zapain, which is much easier to swallow and indeed stayed down.

Back to bed: more pain, so more Fenbid gel on the spot.

More pain. Strange dreams.

So by 5am I knew I wouldn't make this event, and I feel bad for having to let people down at the last minute.

It's now 10.30 ish, and so far I've taken the extra strength painkillers, more Fenbid gel and a blast with the Tens machine - and that damn pain ain't going nowhere. I am out of ideas.

I'm no good at sums!

Maths was never my strong point.

I asked my doctor to change my prescription so I got the 8/500 co-codamol painkillers, and not the 30/500 Zapain. This is because if I take what the GP thinks I ought to be taking, which is 2 x 30/500 4 times a day, I become like a constipated zombie! My brain turns to mush and my gut turns to stone. Neither of which is good for someone who has to massage clients and teach students. And I was relieved when I did get the lower dose in my bag this month.

The issue with paracetamol is that you can only take 8 x 500 tablets per day, otherwise you will overdose. A paracetamol overdose is fatal, as it destroys the liver and the only thing that will save you is a transplant. I've had the grim details from my sister-in-law, who used to be a nurse on the liver ward at the hospital. And as I said, maths was never my strong point.

So here's what I have to do. First thing in the morning and last thing at night, I rub Fenbid Ibuprofen gel into my shoulder, so I can (a) get dressed and (b) lie down. This means I can't take Naproxen because of the high dosage of Ibuprofen. However, I can take 2 of the 200 Ibuprofen, just not at the same time as I rub the gel in. But the reason why I wanted to stop taking Naproxen was the effect it was having on my gut, with little bleeds every so often which only show up when my poo gets black and sticky. yuk!

I also have some aspirin, both as 300 tablets, and as a combination pain control tablet available OTC with paracetamol and caffeine. Now the plain aspirin doesn't seem to work, but the combination does - I just can't take it in the middle of the night because of the caffeine element. And bearing in mind what I said above about the paracetamol, I have to choose when to take it.

Therefore, my pain regime currently is the following:

8am Rub Fenbid gel in, take 2x combination tablets. Total paracetamol: 2
10am 2x 200 ibuprofen. Total paracetamol: 2
12 noon 2x 8/500 co-codamol. Total paracetamol:4
4pm Now then. Can I do without here, or do I need to take some more ibuprofen? One evening last week I couldn't get the car to reverse as I didn't have the strength to get the gearstick into the correct place. Steve had to do it for me. So really I should take some more ibuprofen.
9 or 10pm Rub Fenbid gel in, take1 x 30/500 Zapain Total paracetamol:5
2 - 3am 1x 100 Levothyroxine, 1 x 30/500 Zapain. Total paracetamol: 6
BUT If I am teaching the morning after, no Zapain for me! I can just about make do on the 8/500 co-codamol, or if I'm in too much pain, it's 2 x 500 paracetamol plus more Fenbid. Total paracetamol:7.

I am sailing close to the wind, and if I forget, or take a paracetamol dose instead of an ibuprofen dose, I've had it. I need my wits about me!

So what can I do alternative wise? Heat patches have some effect, I have some wheat bags which microwave very well. I can try the wintergreen salve from Oomeo, or Arnica salve with some helichrysum  essential oil mixed in, sometimes they help, but they are more for muscular pain. They do work on the underlying tendonitis, but not on the root cause which is the complete lack of cartilage in my shoulder joint. Therefore, that is very limiting.